"Happy Gilmore: [voice over narration] During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody."
Probably one of the most hilarious films of my generation. For those unfamiliar Happy Gilmore is a hockey player turned golfer. He's got an amazing drive and incredible amounts of raw talent - he's just totally unpolished and does things his own way. There's a few pretty awesome instances where he rejects the golf world and chooses to have the fans and experience he wants. His biggest weakness at the start is putting - something he eventually learns to do in a way that's good for him.
If you've seen Happy Gilmore you're probably depressed that I just intellectualized it this hard. Yeah, well, it's my journey, so get over it.
My first two months supervising professional staff and sitting in the position of leadership has felt a hell of a lot like the movie Happy Gilmore. I've read that some professionals experience "impostor syndrome" - where they don't quite feel like they belong in that position due to experience, responsibility level, etc. I don't quite feel that way but I have been immensely humbled (something I probably need anyway).
Looking like you know what you're doing is just as important as knowing what you're doing, if not even more so. When you're supervising students it's a lot easier to fake it, make it up as you go and roll with the punches. When you're supervising a team of smart professionals who play in the same sandbox that you do it's a totally different ball game. I'm confident that my experience has taught me well and that I can lead my team. What I struggled with was showing my competency with the polish and maturity that mid-level leadership demands. As someone who is very informal, likes to joke around, always finds positive aspects and constantly seeks to connect with others, this can be difficult.
What I've found is that I can establish my legitimacy as a mid-level supervisor through situations, not through position. I don't believe necessarily in positional respect and authority. While we all respect positions I would assert that we do so because we assume those in that position are smart and capable. Title rarely dictates competence. Thankfully, I've found this to be the case at my current institution. I love the hell out of the people I work with, for and around. This is not by virtue of position but by virtue of their competence. Everyone I work with is really, really smart.
So how am I feeling like Happy Gilmore? I think I get it. I think that I have the skills and knowledge needed to do great things. I also know, confidently, that I have a lot to learn. Polish to gain. And maturity to develop.
I'll always hit the ball the way I want. That's a given. But I'll spend more time thinking about the crowd I'm cheering with and how I'm developing relationships with others, because ultimately, it doesn't matter how far you can hit the ball if you're an asshole that no one wants to watch.
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