“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
― Albert Einstein
REAL TALK, AL. REAL TALK.
I distinctly remember a graduate school interview experience in which the group of anxious candidates was lectured about making mistakes. It went something like this:
"When I was a graduate student I once said something unprofessional. Someone overheard me, and now it follows me around. So never accidentally say something wrong, because it's student affairs, and a being such a small field, YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE IT."
At 21 this was frightening. All of us. Frightened. At the time I thought I was digesting sage like advice. When you're a young graduate student you're going to listen to older mentors and professionals. It's inevitable. We're brought up to never, ever, question professionals. Especially those we're trying to impress.
I would like to submit that this very line of thought is exactly what's wrong with what we do.
First and foremost I'm realistic enough to admit that this in fact a small field. It's true, there's ultimately not a lot of colleges and universities and even less residence life, advising and student activities offices. Sure, that shrinks things. And that creates the possibilities for relationships to overlap and people to get to know one another. That's inevitable. But here's the thing. All of those people that end up eventually knowing one another, believe it or not, HAVE MADE MISTAKES *GASP*! And guess what? If they're all working together they inevitably all know one another. Therefore, they've made mistakes, still have jobs and still get along.
We live and work in a field that deals exclusively in human beings, learning and the prospect of often times using student mistakes and conduct to create learning. I refuse to accept the notion that, if we are to help students learn from their mistakes, that we should be hypocrites and not let others learn.
Here's my quick and handy-dandy guide to mistakes:
1. Accept that mistakes are inevitable.
We're all going to take chances (which is good!), misread situations and incorrectly follow instructions. That's fine. That's to be expected. What this means, most importantly, is that you should accept others will make mistakes.
2. Practice humility, patience and kindness.
Knowing that you make mistakes should allow you to be humble about the mistakes made by those around you. That humility should drive patience, and that patience should drive kindness. Don't be that professional that says "oh well I'd never make that mistake" because, hey, your career isn't over yet. So you don't know.
3. Don't be a hypocrite.
If students are supposed to have the opportunity to learn, so are we. The more you role model mistakes and learning, the more people will buy into your professional philosophy with students. And the more students will buy into what you have to say. Trust drives learning.
4. Don't make people pay.
There's nothing worse than making someone pay for a mistake long term by sharing it with others. People are right, we are a small field, and people talk. Sharing the mistakes of others made in an effort to "give them a heads up" is pretty mean at the end of the day. You don't have to agree with decision. You don't have to like it. And you don't have to share it.
So often we wonder why graduate students and new professionals demand a process, instructions and directions. At the very same time we are peaching this doctrine of never making mistakes and ensuring that your "reputation" is always maintained. Maybe this is just a difference in values, but I'd rather have a reputation for being open, honest and imperfect. Because that's real. And those are the people I ultimately respect the most.
